The following review is spoiler free and is meant to be read BEFORE seeing the movie, as opposed to the upcoming podcast episode, which will contain spoilers and an in-depth discussion of this movie
I didn’t hate The Sitter, but I can count on one hand the things I liked about it. The fact that it isn’t funny isn’t the fault of the actors, but the horrendously bad writing and editing. The comedic timing is wrong throughout the movie and the only jokes that actually land do not involve the four leads. Sure, there is an emotionally satisfying moment here or there (a character’s freak-out by the river was something that was certainly well executed, and thankfully the scene doesn’t overstay its welcome), but overall the movie is a failed comedy.
This is a good illustration of why movies should strive to succeed in more than one area, because if a movie fails at the one thing it sets out to do, then it has nothing else going for it. With The Sitter, there are many attempts at seriousness and only a few of them are executed well; the rest of the moments are just bland and unsatisfying. So because it failed as a comedy and didn’t bother trying with the serious bits, we’re left with a movie that doesn’t work on any level. Nothing about it is horrendous or unwatchable, but it’s mostly unentertaining.
Overall, the only good things about The Sitter are Sam Rockwell, J.B. Smoove, and The Peña Colada Song.