The following review is spoiler free and is meant to be read BEFORE seeing the movie, as opposed to the upcoming podcast episode, which will contain spoilers and an in-depth discussion of this movie
There is no reason for this movie to exist outside of some well-done visuals, and only some of the visuals are notable. Tintin is a reporter of notoriety who stumbles upon a model ship/replica at the exact same time as a shady character (voiced by an always reliable Daniel Craig) and the FBI agent on his tail. Coincidences are never a good place to start a mystery. In fact, coincidences have no place in a fictional mystery story because they take the fun out of them. Mysteries are like puzzles wherein every piece has its place, and one should never be solved (or even started) because of happenstance.
However, that is only a minor nitpick. The real problem with The Adventures of Tintin is that it isn’t entertaining. All humor falls flat (Simon Pegg & Nick Frost, playing two policemen, give it their best shot), and all of the action sequences, rather than being thrilling, just waste time until they are done. Much of this movie is padding just like with the action sequences (a pickpocket as a plot device serves only to make the movie run a little longer).
Tintin isn’t a bad movie by any means; it just doesn’t have anything interesting to keep one attached to the screen and invested in the outcome of the mystery. It is interesting to look at and there are a few sequences that are somewhat well-executed, but it is an overall bland movie.